Stressed so badly at work that I can’t even think of having a family!
Moving to Brussels 15 months ago was a huge step in my career. As the plane touched down, I felt a mix of excitement and nerves. The chance to work in a busy corporate city, dive into a new culture, and grow in my job was thrilling. But beneath that excitement was a nagging worry. Would I be able to fit in here? Could I handle the pressure of a demanding job in a new place? These thoughts kept me up at night as I tried to settle into my new life. Despite giving my all to adjust to the job, the country, and the people, I found myself struggling more and more with my mental health.
Struggle of the new city is haunting me day by day
My lifestyle back home was pretty calm, with plenty of “me time” and very little nightlife. I loved my quiet evenings and personal space, but this made it tough to adjust to life in Brussels. The city buzzes with activity, and socializing seems to be a big part of fitting in. Making new friends and building a balanced routine with a social life has been a real challenge for me. I often find myself torn between wanting to join in and feeling completely out of my element.
What made things even trickier was my lack of knowledge about the local culture, language, or politics. Honestly, Belgian culture didn’t really interest me, which left me feeling a bit out of place. Despite knowing it’s okay to have different passions, I always find myself in discussions about Belgian culture. Even though no one directly criticized my disinterest, I often felt left out or bored during social gatherings.
Figuring things out felt like exploring new terrain. Balancing who I am with fitting into Brussels’ vibrant scene was always a task. Adjusting meant blending my true self with all the new experiences this city had to offer. But was I successful at all?
The stress from my struggles of adjusting to the new country finally spills over into my work
As my struggles persisted, they inevitably began to seep into my work life, leading to a noticeable disconnect. I found myself feeling increasingly disengaged, as if my body instinctively resisted the demands of my job. Boredom became a constant companion, and I struggled to maintain focus and motivation.
Then I realised it is because of the disbelief I have for my job, or jobs in general! I knew that I don’t quite enthusiastic about my jobs, but I never truly questioned it before. And yes, I actually tried to change disciplines, but I failed due to very specific degree I had. Consequently, I started to felt less and less connected to my work and my passion disappeared with each passing day.
The reason why I got bored so easily and eventually looking for changes in my job, the city I live, or even my partners was a result of a fundamental misalignment between my interests and my career path.
On top of that, I was experiencing a completely different social environment at work. It’s a local business in a vert remote and isolated location in Belgium, which means conversations are held only in English because of me. I feel like the center of attention because I am the reason why we speak English, yet I have almost nothing to share. Consequently, natural friendships were never built in the workplace, too.
Feelings building up at work ultimately develop into insurmountable problems in life
This overall situation has left me feeling increasingly anxious. Because I lack enthusiasm for the field I work in, I struggle to produce work of high quality. Despite my efforts, I never feel confident about my work, and I struggle to identify any achievements or projects that I can take pride in. It’s understandable that when you’re not passionate about what you do, meeting even your own standards can be challenging. But it is also understandable many people who find themselves in this situation simply give up. They lose all ambition, even for life itself.
It’s true that my job is now contributing significantly to my feelings of depression, sometimes reaching unbearable levels. The stress of realizing that I need to rediscover myself at the age of 30 only adds to this burden. However, I am choosing to embrace this period of career reassessment and personal reflection, determined to forge a path forward despite the challenges.
Through the highs and lows of my journey in the new city, one lesson stands out: the power of aligning passion with career. That’s something I discovered so late, and it is my struggle ever since. However, I find comfort in knowing that I’m not alone in feeling this way, and I believe there will be days ahead where we can share stories of the challenges we’ve overcome and the achievements we’re proud of.
Although I am unsure if I will ever have a child, I wish for a life where I could worry about my children. Seeing people manage more significant matters such as family life and kids alongside their career frustrates me because my work now affects my entire life, leaving no room for finding comfort in family life.
